Here are some awesome lyrics for a heavy metal song called Oh I Fear! All I need now is some bad-ass double-kick bass drum lines, thermonuclear guitar riffs, and alien mutant screaming vocals. It will be a hit, I know it. Here it is:
Oh I Fear
Verse 1
Oh I fear
With the devil in my mind
My heart’s in flames I pray for nothing
My lungs filled with smoke
Oh oh oh my heart is aflame
Oh I fear
Chorus
With the Devil in my mind
I feel his arms around my neck
He caresses all my flesh
My veins full of blood
Verse 2
And I can feel no light
Oh oh oh my heart is aflame
Oh I fear
As my heart is burning
Oh oh oh I fear
With the devil in my mind
Chorus
With the Devil in my mind
I feel his arms around my neck
He caresses all my flesh
My veins full of blood
I didn’t actually write these lyrics. No one did. Or, everyone did. There’s a website called Bored Humans that uses AI (artificial intelligence) to create passable fakes of human creations like songs and stories. These programs pick out text from millions of web pages and use machine learning to figure out what to write. I’ve always wanted to write a heavy metal song. This will have to do.
Oh, you should really check out the computer-generated (by competing neural networks) paintings. Here’s one that will make a dandy heavy metal album cover:
I’m calling my band Dagon’s Minions and I’m titling the album The Abyss. I’ll use blood-red Olde English script stamped in an angry diagonal across the front of this bitchin’ art. On the back will be pictures of the band flipping off shocked school teachers.
Whaddya think?
Mark C. O'Connor 
I think the song is a heapin’ pile o’shite.
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I guess I earned that one!
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I think the AI needs to do some learnin’. It seems that the cadence of the lyric is not smooth, or, really, it doesn’t fit the cadence of what I imagine the music might be, although I don’t really have any idea. “With the devil in my mind” is harder to sing than, “With the devil in – mind” because you’re not mouthing m – m. But that imagines that you can elide the m’s without messing with the music.
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Metal vocalists are just that–vocalists. Singing skill a plus, but not required. Can you imitate a diesel motor? Can you gargle loud enough to scare children? Did you learn to whisper in a sawmill? “Dagon’s Minions” needs a front man. Actually I’m changing the name to just “Dagon” and the fan club will be “Dagon’s Minions.”
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